Quirky Employee Behaviors- Dealing with Drama Momma

I am going to spend the next week or so highlighting quirky behavioral types that I have repeatedly found in work place regardless of the industry I was in. I know it is typically not appropriate to make sweeping generalizations regarding anything, but most leaders will tell you that they have worked with many, if not all, of these types of employees at one time or another throughout their careers. So grab a cup of your favorite beverage, strap yourself in, and prepare for a journey into what may feel like a trip to the Twilight Zone.

MEET ‘DRAMA MOMMA’

The reference to ‘Momma’ is not meant to be a gender reference; it just has a nice ring to it. Although I have seen both men and women behave this way in the workplace, it seems that more women fall into this category than men. Nonetheless, managers and employees alike will never forget working with a classic ‘Drama Momma’. You see, for this employee, drama and gossip seem to be as important as the air they breathe.

‘Drama Momma’ needs to have an audience and the workplace is the perfect stage. They seem to think that EVERYONE needs to know about the details of the latest and greatest event that has occurred in their life. I am not just talking about any old run of the mill life event; I am talking about the fact that no one in the history of man could possibly have as much drama or bad luck as this employee. Many co-workers actually begin to eagerly anticipate their daily dose of this live soap opera that unfolds before them each and every day. I have actually seen employees go get a cup of coffee prior to the ‘Drama Momma’s’ arrival so they were completely ready to tune in to the day’s episode.

These employees also LOVE bringing their family dramas into the work place as well. Stories of their children’s bad behavior, the spouse’s latest faux pas, their mothers nagging ways, and even disappointments caused by the family pet can be topics for their daily update. There is absolutely nothing sacred to this employee. There also seems to be no limit to the events that continue to shake this employee to their core. It is simply amazing that one mere human could possibly endure that much drama in their life! You know what I say? WHATEVER!!

Now as I have said before, we leaders are not psychiatrists, and should not be diagnosing our employees’ behaviors. But what we should be doing is determining whether our employees’ behaviors are acceptable for the workplace. And let me tell ya…all that drama and distraction that ‘Drama Momma’ is peddling is absolutely not acceptable and frankly, it’s downright destructive to the work place.

ENOUGH ALREADY!
These employees typically create a significant distraction wherever they go. The time they are spending telling each and every employee about the latest and greatest episode in their wildly insane life is eroding your department’s productivity. I would also venture to guess that it is also creating a morale issue, because although that drama may initially be entertaining, interest will soon wane and your employees will begin to get annoyed with this nonsense.

All the last-minute dramatic exits from work to deal with the latest world crisis often leave their fellow team members to take on an additional work load. So let’s face it, these employees are an absolute drain on the workplace and must be dealt with!

ADVICE FOR THE LEADER
You can typically spot these characters from a mile away. After a few days of exposure to their high intensity drama is all you will need to have their number. The magic cure for dealing with a ‘Drama Momma’ is ensuring there is a significant level accountability in place to keep them in line. One of my favorite phrases for dealing with problem employees is “put them in a box”. What I mean by this is, once you create significant structure around this employee, they will either adapt or succumb to your constraints. Typically, they can’t operate without the drama fueling their existence, so they either transfer out of your department or quit the company. Either way, score one for the leader!!

These individuals will need a ton of corrective feedback if you have any hope of modifying their behavior. You will need to get comfortable pulling them aside and addressing their behavior when it is occurs. Some suggestions for dealing with their behaviors are as follows:

Addressing the daily meeting of the drama department- ‘Drama Mommas’ typically feel empowered to have informal gatherings of employees at their desk (work area) each day to adequately update the team on the latest events unfolding in their oh-so-fascinating life. As the leader, you need to put an immediate stop to this. Walk up and join this impromptu meeting and politely ask what everyone is talking about. Someone will inevitably tell you that ‘Momma’ was just sharing his/her latest crazy experience. Then, politely explain to the group that there is a lot of work to get accomplished today, and although you don’t mind the team chatting, they really need to get back to work. After a couple days of this, ‘Drama Momma’ may figure out that you are onto their little daily broadcast.

If the meetings continue, it is time to confront ‘Momma’ about their behavior. If this becomes necessary, bring the employee into a private setting. If possible, have a fellow supervisor/manager present as a witness. Not only is this a CYA move, but it sends a clear signal to the employee that the gig is up! Explain the following:

• Thank the employee for joining you
• Explain that you want to speak to them about some concerns you are have regarding their behavior in the work place- You heard that right…get right to the point. This is not the type of individual to beat around the bush with. If you give them an inch, they will take 12 miles. Make sure there are NO LOOPHOLES in your message!
• Explain that you continue to see frequent gatherings in their work area that typically consist of social discussions.
• Explain that although you don’t have an issue with minor chit chatting throughout the day, the discussions that occurring in their work area each day are excessive and detracting from the productivity of the department. (again…be direct)
• Ask the employee if there is some business reason that you not aware of for these daily pow-wows.
• Regardless of the myriad of excuses you will most likely hear, stick to your guns. Remind the employee that they get two breaks and a lunch period each day and are free to discuss the details of their personal life at that time.
• The employee may bring up the fact that other employees share stories about their personal lives in the workplace. Respond to ‘Momma’ that they have taken social discussions to a level that is now affecting productivity in the department.
• Ask the employee to make a commitment to become more aware of the type and length of discussions they are engaging in. Also ask that they stay focused on their work while they are on the clock. If this is not an hourly employee, then ask that they stay focused on their work while they are at work.

The Wandering ‘Drama Momma’- Once you clip ‘Momma’s’ wings, they may just start taking random strolls to other departments. If they cannot pedal their stories in their own department, you may find them in other areas, talking to other employees. If this is the case, you will need to address it ASAP. Follow the same outline above but discuss their absence from the department is affecting productivity. Then reset the expectation that they need to stay in their department and focus on their work.

SUMMARY
Dealing with the ‘Drama Mommas’ of the world can be utterly exhausting. It is like being embattled in a chess game where you are always trying to anticipate your opponent’s next move. Just prepare yourself for the probability that an ENORMOUS amount of feedback will be required for dealing with this type of employee.

My personal experience is that these employees rarely modify their behavior. Many choose to go to battle with their supervisor for a time, and once they realize they have met their match, they leave the work place in a blaze of glory. Many come up with amazing stories of why they must move on. Whether they just became a bazillion dollar lottery winner, or have been offered a job by the White House to head up the mission to create world peace, you will undoubtedly want to pound down a few of your favorite cocktails after the close of business on their last day!!